float like a butterfly,

for the past 9 or 10 months now, i've incorporated a rule into my life that i've followed quite strictly. its been a rule of balance. a balnce of which three crucial elements stand. 3 faucets of my life. Family, Friends, Work. i've followed this rule diligently, always careful to not let one get ahead of the other, and when one seemed to fall behind, sacrifice the time of the other 2 to make sure the weaker becomes strong again. the results have been astounding. i feel confident calling myself Son, Brother, Nephew, Cousin, Uncle, Husband, Buddy, Best Friend, Leader, Follower, Teacher, Student. i've given myself close to no chance to mess this up. always staying on track. focused, determined, assertive, attentive, and very very passionate. even in the last while, i've learned so much. knowing when to listen, when to not, when to put my foot down, and when to give a bit more. i swear to god i'm gonna put this in a book and go tony robins up in this motherfucker. anyway. along the way, there was one minor oversight. me. while i was busy being a son to my mother, a friend to my buddies, turning point to my business, i forgot to be me to myself. don't get me wrong, the system would never work if i didn't have my head on my shoulders. its much more simple than that...

the other day i went to a matinee. with my friend jay. it was a beautiful afternoon. we even walked to the theatre. the movie we saw has nothing to do with this story. (superbad) in the line for snacks (we were very snacky*) two boys were inline with their grandma in front of us. you should have seen the looks on their faces. utterly taken back by the cornucopia of lights, sounds, and oh god... chocolate. they each picked a favorite bar from front. upon receiving their buried treasure i can't even begin to describe the looks of astonishment, and almost clandestine piracy! well i guess i just did. anyway, i started to realize and remember, just how much of a huge fucking deal going to the MOVIES was. holy crap. then i remembered my first movie i ever saw in the theaters. my nonno (raphael) took me and my cousin (joely) to see "the bear" it was incredible. i spilled all my peanut M&M's on the floor and they rolled away. joely just laughed at me. but the movie still ruled. i don't know i what i was getting at. but it was a special moment seeing those boys come unglued about the whole experience.

being adult grounded can really blow.

i bought jeans today. i never buy jeans. it was hot and i sweated a lot in this hot city (toronto) fall's coming though. i think that is my favorite season. you get to start bundling up.

i really miss my friends today. and my family. and i'm such a douche for not calling them as much as i should. it's not that i don't want to talk to them. in any way, its more just when they do call, i normally miss it or i'm just so tired i don't feel like talking. even though all they really want is a quick 5 minutes even. just to say hi and hear my voice. i'm gonna do better. i should. i have to. they're my folks etc. that's a big fucking deal. maybe i'll fly home tomorow.

so much is happening. its only gonna get crazier. new record coming out. first single out. first video shot and in post. i am full of anxiety. i handle it just fine, but i can tell its there. gnawing at my ankle bones like the corner of a sharp coffee table. i'm not falling apart, but its always a stressful time. you never know what could happen and it tears you apart.

i got a haircut. finally. i gave. it's okay. i'm really happy with it. feels more like me again.

i'm gonna go take a multi-vitamin and cut my toes.



goodnight sweetheart, goodnight - the spaniels